Tears of relief: One mother’s story of immigration, survival and resilience
After escaping an abusive relationship, Abi worked with our Community Connections team to protect her family and successfully apply for refugee status
*Name changed due to confidentiality.
Everyday we have the honour of journeying with people. For some, we are in their lives for only a season, while others may need more extensive support. However long our time is together, there has been no shortage of their profound strength in the face of life’s challenges.
For the last six months, Hannah Dobbin from our Community Connections team has been working closely with a mother named Abi*. Abi and her family moved to Canada as refugees in the spring of 2018. Her children began attending the Community Club where Hannah worked at the time. Hannah recounts how the oldest child was particularly popular and was known for being kind and supportive to everyone around him. However, after Clubs closed during COVID, Hannah lost contact with the family.
Meeting again
Hannah moved on to work at our Community Connections program, which provides an array of resources to help people reach their goals. This past spring, she stopped by the Clubs when she spotted Abi. Hannah went over to say hello and asked Abi if she was interested in the supports at Community Connections. It was then that Abi revealed she had left her husband because of his abusive behaviour.
She and the children were able to escape to a shelter before just recently settling into affordable housing. Her next big push was to submit her refugee claim so she could apply for permanent residence. Abi and her ex-husband had applied together when they first came to Canada, but their claim was denied. Since filing for divorce, Abi decided to start a new claim for herself and her three children.
As the main provider for her family, Abi was working as much she could, but with limited access to affordable childcare, she found herself struggling financially month-to-month. Getting approval to apply for permanent residency would open doors for Abi to receive the child benefits and other financial supports she needed. As Abi continued to deal with her ex’s unhealthy behaviour during their divorce process, permanent residency could also give Abi and her children protection and security.
Let’s get to work
With these goals at the forefront, Hannah and Abi began working together in July of 2021. Abi says she was “thankful to be able to reconnect with Hannah” because they already had a relationship and she felt comfortable opening up to her and asking for supports.
As they began to prepare for the upcoming immigration hearing, Hannah found that Abi did not have a good working relationship with her lawyer, who had been unresponsive when Abi asked for help. Hannah talked to the lawyer on Abi’s behalf but was met with a similar response, so she supported Abi with finding new legal support and representation. Together, Hannah and Abi made phone calls, researched legal supports and court procedures, and talked about next steps, one of which involved Hannah writing a letter of support to the immigration board.
During this time, Hannah also helped Abi connect to more community resources such as the Centre for Refugee Resilience where she could access specific counselling. More domestic violence and safety concerns had come up with her ex over the last few months, so Hannah worked with Abi to build a safety plan.
Because Abi was not eligible for childcare subsidy, she couldn’t afford Club registration fees. Hannah advocated for Abi’s children to attend this fall at a reduced cost, which Abi says allowed the kids to rebuild positive connections with Trellis. It also gave her time to focus on her work and immigration case while knowing her kids were in a safe environment.
“Everyone I have met at Trellis is amazing. Everyone is like our friend,” Abi says.
The day of the hearing
When January arrived, it was time for Abi’s immigration hearing. Due to COVID, the hearing was held over Zoom. Abi decided to attend from the Community Club where her children went, because it was a place where she felt comfortable and supported. Hannah sat in the room with Abi as the hearing proceeded over the next two hours.
Abi says having Hannah attend the hearing as support made the day less stressful, especially when they were put on hold after the hearing. They turned off their mics and speakers as they eagerly waited to hear back from the immigration board.
“Talking to Hannah took away my anxiety,” she says.
An hour later, the board came back with a decision. Abi’s claim was approved! The moment Abi heard this, she started to cry.
“There was a huge sense of relief, because safety is the core of everything for her right now,” Hannah says. “Having that piece of paper means that she is safe, and she doesn't have to worry about her kids being taken from her. She can just focus on what she wants to do with her future.”
Taking back control
For so long Abi had been living in survival mode, unsure about what would happen to her and family. With the hearing behind them, Hannah says she has seen a huge change in Abi. She’s “brighter” and has a much more positive outlook on her future.
“She had been stuck for a couple years in this place of just waiting and everything being out of her hands. Now she finally can take back some control of her life.”
Hannah has seen a similar shift in Abi’s children since they’ve returned to Clubs.
“The boys are doing so well in Clubs, and they’re doing really well in school – thriving, writing books and building all these good connections,” Hannah says. “I think this really shows that if we're able to provide support for the whole family in different ways, we see this huge positive outcome. It’s a full circle.”
“She had been stuck for a couple years in this place of just waiting and everything being out of her hands. Now she finally can take back some control of her life.”
Hannah will continue to support Abi through the permanent application process and ensure she is set up to apply for all the benefits she is eligible for. With her youngest child turning three next year, they are also getting ready for him to attend preschool.
Abi is excited to finally move forward and has expressed that she wants to share her story to support others who are going through similar situations. Hannah believes Abi “can do everything she wants to do”, speaking to Abi’s determination and the potential that she always had within her.
“She’s had years of this man telling her that she can't do anything on her own or she would never be able to. Within the last year she has pulled it out of herself to find that strength and be successful with everything. She just needed that extra support and someone in her corner so that she knew she could do it.”